


heterophobia support group

by bhvst



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Gen, Group Chat Fic, M/M, Multi, all of them are lgbt bc it's not high school otherwise, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bhvst/pseuds/bhvst
Summary: Clyde decides to start a group chat for his group's school project, but when the project is all done, he decides to add more of his friends. It's awful.Characters and relationships to be added!
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 14
Kudos: 64





	1. the gang goes to hooters

**Author's Note:**

> So like... this is entirely just me and my friend deciding the boys and their friends would say and do the dumbest shit imaginable.
> 
> Alternative titles:  
> Hetero Oppression: A Clyde Donovan Story  
> Welcome to a Group of Gays: Population Growing

_Today at 4:27pm - Wednesday  
_ _[Clyde Donovan added Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, and Token Black to a group]  
_ _[Clyde Donovan renamed group to_ **_project squad_ ** _]_

 **Craig Tucker  
** what the fuck is this clyde

 **Clyde Donovan  
** this is for our project what do you mean :(

 **Token Black  
** I hate this already  
Weren’t we doing fine just talking in the library?

 **Tweek Tweak  
** our project that’s due this friday??? clyde it’s Wednesday

 **Clyde Donovan  
** well... the others had a group chat and i wanted one too!!

 **Craig Tucker  
** this is stupid  
also clyde you’re an idiot

 **Clyde Donovan  
** well i knew that but why am i an idiot this time

 **Craig Tucker  
** are u being serious rn

 **Clyde Donovan  
** yes i don’t know what i did!!

 **Tweek Tweak  
** do we wanna tell him?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** yes!

 **Craig Tucker  
** no

 **Clyde Donovan  
** come on guys!!!

 **Token Black  
** Lmao

 **Tweek Tweak  
** jimmy is in our group too and he isn’t here, clyde

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh fuck

 **Craig Tucker  
** stupid

_[Clyde Donovan added Jimmy Valmer to the group]_

**Token Black  
** Jimmy, Clyde forgot to add you to this chat which is for our project

 **Clyde Donovan  
** JIMMY IM SORRY

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Gee, fellas  
M y feelings are a little hhurt :(

 **Clyde Donovan  
** I DIDNT MEAN TO FORGET YOU

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** My feelings a re damaged irreparably  
How will I ever rec over?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :(

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** I’m just kiddiing!

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :)!

 **Craig Tucker  
** i cant believe u hate disabled ppl clyde   
what the fuck :/

 **Clyde Donovan  
** I DONT

 **Tweek Tweak  
** just say you hate disabled people smh ://

 **Clyde Donovan  
** tweek!!!!

 **Token Black  
** Anyway. Since we have this, do you guys wanna meet at the library tomorrow to make sure we have everything good to go?

 **Craig Tucker  
** ugh  
i guess

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :)

* * *

_Today at 11:58am - Saturday  
_ _[_ **_project squad_ ** _]_

 **Token Black  
** So.  
Clyde.  
We gonna talk about yesterday?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** no :)

 **Craig Tucker  
** clyde you made this fucking chat  
where were u fucker

 **Tweek Tweak  
** clyde where WERE YOU

 **Clyde Donovan  
** nowhere!

 **Craig Tucker  
** yeah that fucker was nowhere near class presenting the project we All Worked On

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Clydee yo u do know that you’re getting a lower gradee right

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh shit are u for real

 **Tweek Tweak  
** yes you dumb of ass

 **Token Black  
** You’re lucky we told the teacher you were just sick  
She said you could go in on Monday before school to make up your part of the presentation

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh thank god

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** So where were you cl yde?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** haha nowhere :)

 **Craig Tucker  
** you skipped school yesterday  
Where Were You

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :),,,

 **Token Black  
** God fuck you Clyde

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** You know ken ny wasn’t at school either  
Maybe he know s

 **Craig Tucker  
** fuck you clyde i’m asking kenny

 **Clyde Donovan  
** NO  
CRAIG  
NO!!

 **Tweek Tweak  
** lmao

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** :-))))

* * *

_Today at 12:43pm - Saturday_

_[Craig Tucker to Kenny McCormick]_

**Craig Tucker  
** so  
you weren’t at school yesterday

 **Kenny McCormick  
** ya

 **Craig Tucker  
** where’d you go

 **Kenny McCormick  
** why the sudden interest tucker?  
finally want a piece of kenny huh ;)

 **Craig Tucker  
** yeah you wish  
anyway were you with clyde

 **Kenny McCormick  
** maybe…  
yeah i was lmao  
why

 **Craig Tucker  
** where’d you guys go

 **Kenny McCormick  
** we went to hooters

 **Craig Tucker  
** hooters.

 **Kenny McCormick  
** hooters :)

 **Craig Tucker  
** ugh  
why did you go to hooters  
why couldn’t you have just waited until the weekend

 **Kenny McCormick  
** i told him we’d go to hooters if we went to the mall first  
i had to buy karen new shoes and his dad’s store was having a sale that was ending yesterday and i wanted to get there before the shoes she wanted sold out  
plus i told him the old raisins girls would be there

 **Craig Tucker  
** god dammit kenny  
well now i have to know  
were the old raisins girls actually there or did you lie to him

 **Kenny McCormick  
** oh i 100% lied to him  
but i needed him!! so i could get shoes for dirt cheap from his dad’s store lmao  
but they were for karen so it was worth it

 **Craig Tucker  
** god you’re like bebe  
i respect the hustle tho  
thanks kenny

* * *

_Today at 12:54pm - Saturday  
_ _[_ **_project squad_ ** _]_

 **Craig Tucker  
** ok i know where he was now  
little fucker went to hooters with kenny instead of presenting our project  
but kenny used him to get shoes for cheap lmao

 **Token Black  
** Seriously?

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Clyde :/

 **Tweek Tweak  
** >:/

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :’)

 **Token Black  
** Well now that that’s all settled, we don’t need this group chat anymore  
Right?

 _[Clyde Donovan changed group name to_ **_slut squad_ ** _]_

 **Tweek Tweak  
** what?

_[Clyde Donovan added Kenny McCormick, Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, and Kyle Broflovski to the group]_

**Craig Tucker  
** clyde what are you doing

 **Kenny McCormick  
** oh shit? it’s the legendary slut squad

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :)

 **Stan Marsh  
** Clyde what is this???

 **Eric Cartman  
** Fuck this

_[Eric Cartman has left the group]_

**Kyle Broflovski  
** Oh thank god

_[Clyde Donovan has added Eric Cartman to the group]_

**Kyle Broflovski  
** CLYDE

 **Clyde Donovan  
** LISTEN  
y’know he’s been less of a dick since fourth grade! So  
idk we’ll see

 **Stan Marsh  
** is he mad because his mom is getting boned by your dad or

 **Clyde Donovan  
** you know stan

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** LMAO?

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** :0

 **Stan Marsh  
** :)

 **Tweek Tweak  
** HA

 **Clyde Donovan  
** yes. yes stan.  
we’re like. vaguely brothers right now

 **Craig Tucker  
** wow i kind of actually hate that

 **Eric Cartman  
** Our parents keeps spending the night at each others house and it’s fucking WEIRD

 **Kenny McCormick  
** cartman why don’t you just go find some dick to hop on like your mom so you don’t have to bear witness

 **Token Black  
** LMAO

 **Clyde Donovan  
** KENNY

 **Kenny McCormick  
** what? :)

 **Eric Cartman  
** Kenny I WILL take a shit on your switch just fuckin wait

 **Kenny McCormick  
** NO  
i worked too fuckin hard for that  
plus it’s not even mine  
it’s karen’s, fucker  
touch it and ill END you

 **Stan Marsh  
** :O

 **Craig Tucker  
** yeah who tf am i supposed to play animal crossing with if you do that

 **Kenny McCormick  
** i mean butters plays it too dude

 **Craig Tucker  
** anyway.  
do i just have to deal with this chat  
can i ever escape it

 **Clyde Donovan  
** absolutely not ;)

 **Craig Tucker  
** clyde.

 **Clyde Donovan  
** I DIDNT MEAN TO WINK

 **Craig Tucker  
** good because you’d have no chance with me

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Oh shit lmao

 **Clyde Donovan  
** aw :(

 **Kenny McCormick  
** that’s a little gay there, clyde

 **Token Black  
** Is Clyde finally gonna come out?

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** :O

 **Clyde Donovan  
** what do you MEAN  
i’m STRAIGHT

 **Kenny McCormick  
** you’re straight the same way stan is straight dude

 **Stan Marsh  
** wait what’s that supposed to mean?

 **Craig Tucker  
** we all know you’re a closet bisexual, marsh

 **Stan Marsh  
** wtf  
How can you be so sure

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** We all just kinda know, sta n lol  
Even if you don’t

 **Stan Marsh  
** Yeah lmao sure  
You guys are funny

 **Clyde Donovan  
** yeah our friends are hilarious

 **Craig Tucker  
** we sure are  
anyway bye fuckers i’m hanging out with tweek today  
@Tweek Tweak im heading over so be ready

 **Clyde Donovan  
** do you Have to @ him in the gc

 **Tweek Tweak  
** ok craig!

 **Craig Tucker  
** wow homophobia?

 **Kenny McCormick  
** in our good christian chat?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh my god


	2. tricia destroys everyone at mario kart and clyde gets mad about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle and Kenny talk about Stan's sexuality and the boys play some Mario Kart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say I really appreciate the support I've gotten so far! This is my first ever published fic, and even tho it's a chat fic, I'm SO glad that people like it. Thank you so much, everyone! I hope you like chapter 2!
> 
> I'm gonna start including private DMs because that's always fun uwu I've also added emojis because I feel like they add a little Spice to the fic lmao
> 
> I've ALSO added the day of the week things happen just so it doesn't get too confusing when everything occurs

_Today at 2:28pm - Saturday  
[Kyle Broflovski to Kenny McCormick]_

**Kyle Broflovski**  
Stan is so stupid oh my god

 **Kenny McCormick**  
DUDE RIGHT  
our bro is really out here  
being like "no i'm straight!"

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
LIKE  
He's clearly attracted to men  
As if we haven't seen him stare at the guys during gym

 **Kenny McCormick**  
kyle don't forget  
he gets "distracted"

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
Yeah distracted by ASS

 **Kenny McCormick**  
smh  
he'll figure it out one of these days  
hopefully or we're all gonna be suffering with two bi men in denial

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
Oh my god Clyde  
Ridiculous

 **Kenny McCormick**  
i feel bad for kevin tbh  
that little space nerd just wants a bf  
but clyde is too blind to see... smh... 😔

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
I think he's just too into Bebe to realize  
Particularly her tits

 **Kenny McCormick**  
yeah the tits he's never once touched? lmao

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
Good for Bebe LMAO  
Too bad she's really into shoes

 **Kenny McCormick**  
god senior year and she's been doing this since 4th grade  
gotta say. i respect it

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
I mean, you DID get some shoes out of Clyde  
Even if you made him skip out on his presentation

 **Kenny McCormick**  
craig told me he can make it up on monday  
he's fine

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
Yeah it's not like it's my assignment anyway

 **Kenny McCormick**  
yeah he's good  
but later dude i have an appointment :)

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
An appointment huh?  
Who is it this time?

 **Kenny McCormick**  
unimportant!  
later bro

 **Kyle Broflovski**  
Lmao later

* * *

_Today at 4:21pm - Saturday  
_ _[ **slut squad**_ ]

 **Clyde Donovan**  
I MISSED IT

 **Token Black**  
Missed what?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** 420 :(

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Clyde do you even smoke weed?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** i mean  
no but

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Yeah uh huh

* * *

_Today at 7:02pm - Saturday  
_ _[ **slut squad** ]_

 **Clyde Donovan  
** where is everyone :(

 **Stan Marsh**  
I was having dinner with my family

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** And I was doing homework

 **Token Black  
** Yeah same here

 **Clyde Donovan  
** boring!!!

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** I was doing my hhomewo rk too clyde  
You should probably do yours too!

 **Clyde Donovan  
** eh  
that's what sunday is for!

 **Eric Cartman  
** even I was doing my homework, Clyde

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh shit no way?

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** I find that hard to believe

 **Eric Cartman  
** Clyde's fuckin dad is here  
I needed SOMETHING to distract myself

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh that's where he went  
ew 🤢

 **Eric Cartman  
** yeah I am NOT happy right now

 **Stan Marsh  
** I feel a little sorry for Cartman  
just a little bit

 **Clyde Donovan  
** where is everyone else!!

 **Token Black  
** Idk

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :(

 **Kenny McCormick  
** sup sluts

 **Clyde Donovan  
** kenny!!  
where have u been bro

 **Kenny McCormick  
** oh y'know  
out doin stuff  
things and stuff

 **Stan Marsh  
** Kenny that sounds sus

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Tha t sounds a little horny is whaat it sounds like

 **Token Black  
** Sounds pretty fuckin horny to me

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh shit who was it kenny 👀

 **Kenny McCormick  
** lmao nobody

 **Eric Cartman  
** you've really become a giant whore Kenny smh

 **Kenny McCormick  
** yeah like someone's mom i know

 **Eric Cartman  
** KENNY SHUT UP

 **Token Black  
** LMFAO

 **Kenny McCormick  
** it's ok cartman  
one day you'll get the proper dicking you need 😌

**Kyle Broflovski  
🤭**

**Stan Marsh**  
Cartman we're here for you until you get the help you need 🙏🏼

 **Eric Cartman  
** I fucking hate you guys

 **Craig Tucker  
** we hate you too dw

 **Tweek Tweak  
** idk sometimes i'm indifferent

 **Token Black  
** Where the hell were you guys?

 **Eric Cartman  
** having copious amounts of gay sex, I'm sure

 **Tweek Tweak  
** ok i don't like him anymore

 **Craig Tucker  
** we got lunch before tweek had to close his parents shop  
and i hung out and did some homework while i was there  
then he came over for dinner

 **Clyde Donovan  
** god did everyone do homework today but me??

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Clyde maybe one day you'll realize getting your homework done before the last minute is pretty liberating

 **Clyde Donovan  
** maybe one day :)

 **Token Black  
** Clyde... 🤦🏿

 **Craig Tucker  
** give it up, token  
we can't change him

 **Tweek Tweak  
** @Clyde Donovan wanna play mario kart? craig and i are gonna play!

 **Clyde Donovan  
** YES  
i'm hopping on!!

 **Stan Marsh  
** I love how fast you guys gave up lmao

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Ttrust me we've trieed for years :/

 **Tweek Tweak  
** @Kenny McCormick do you and karen wanna play with us too?

 **Kenny McCormick  
** can't :/  
karen is holding her switch hostage until i do my homework....  
it's bc i have work tomorrow so she wants me to get it done

 **Tweek Tweak  
** aw okay :(  
next time then!

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** LMAO KAREN

 **Token Black  
** Maybe Clyde just needs a younger sister to do the same to him lol

 **Stan Marsh  
** god Shelly would just take mine and never give it back if I gave her the chance

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** I have to hold Ike's Xbox hostage so he finishes his homework :/

 **Tweek Tweak  
** if anyone else wants to join u can!!

 **Kenny McCormick  
** i'll try to finish my hw fast! uwu

 **Jimmy Valmer**  
I'll j oin!

* * *

_Today at 10:43pm - Saturday  
[ **slut squad** ]_

**Clyde Donovan  
** CALL OUT POST FOR KENNETH MCCORMICK FOR OUR LAST RACE  
I WAS IN FIRST AND HE HIT ME WITH A RED SHELL AT THE LAST SECOND AND THEN I GOT HIT BY A BLUE SHELL  
donkey kong almost got first.........

 **Kenny McCormick  
** bro i got hit by the blue shell TOO  
tricia got first :/

 **Craig Tucker  
** tricia fuckin got 3 red shells and absolutely decimated me tweek and jimmy  
we got destroyed by baby luigi of all characters

 **Tweek Tweak  
** i had a STAR but NO  
SOMEONE HAD TO USE LIGHTNING

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Co me on tweeek I was so behind I had to. :(

 **Tweek Tweak  
** ok i'll forgive you

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** :D

 **Tweek Tweak  
** for now.....

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** D:

 **Kenny McCormick  
** karen wants to play next time btw!

 **Tweek Tweak  
** oh yay!! i miss karen 🥺  
kenny you should bring her by so we can all hang out at craig's  
tricia misses her too!

 **Craig Tucker  
** of course she does  
tricia takes after her brother and is a giant gaywad

 **Clyde Donovan  
** oh that's so cute 🥺

 **Kenny McCormick  
** i just told karen that and she is Very excited about going to craig's house  
she's so cute :')

 **Craig Tucker  
** call out post for my BOYFRIEND  
he told tricia what i said and she fuckin Hit Me

 **Tweek Tweak  
** to be fair she hit him after he called her a "flaming homo" to her face

 **Clyde Donovan  
** LMAO?

 **Craig Tucker  
** it's not my fault she still thinks she likes boys :/  
i've heard how she talks about karen  
she's a freshman in high school now so she'll be coming to terms with it soon

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Oh to be yuoung and in denial

 **Kenny McCormick  
** yeah she shouldn't like boys  
they're stupid and gross

 **Token Black  
** Insulting yourself and all your friends there, Kenny?

 **Kenny McCormick  
** i'm a boy Most of the time  
but my point still stands  
we all kinda fuckin suck, dude

 **Token Black  
** Very fair point

 **Clyde Donovan  
** yeah... we do kinda suck

 **Kenny McCormick  
** anyway i'm going to bed  
i have work in the morning  
night, you boners

 **Token Black  
** I'm heading to bed too  
Goodnight everyone!

 **Tweek Tweak  
** craig and i are gonna go watch a movie then sleep so we're gonna head out for the night too!

 **Clyde Donovan  
** aw :(((

 **Craig Tucker  
** clyde why don't you just take this time to do your homework?? god

 **Clyde Donovan  
** hhhgngnngfmg  
don't wanna... but i guess if everyone's going to sleep..........

* * *

_Today at 7:33am - Sunday  
_ _[ **slut squad** ]_

 **Stan Marsh**  
oh fuck you guys played Mario kart last night :(

 **Token Black  
** Yeah Clyde wasn't happy lmao

 **Stan Marsh  
** we should all get together again and play some day!  
we gotta play smash too

 **Token Black  
** We should!  
Maybe next weekend? Or the one after that

 **Stan Marsh  
** that could work!

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Oh HELL yeah  
I'm down!

 **Token Black  
** We can see what the others think when they wake up lol

* * *

_Today at 10:02am - Sunday  
[ **slut squad** ]_

**Clyde** **Donovan**  
WHY are you guys awake so early all the time  
ESPECIALLY during the weekend

 **Stan Marsh  
** some of us have jobs, Clyde  
like right now  
I'm on break

 **Clyde Donovan  
** at 7am tho?? disgusting

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** I had a doctor's appointment so I had to wake up at like 6 :/

 **Token Black  
** I just wake up early naturally

 **Clyde Donovan**  
y'all are gross  
anyway i see ur talking about getting together and playing games 👀

 **Token Black  
** Yeah! I think it'll be fun  
Who wants to host?

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Mo rning ffelllas!  
I can't havee a lot of people over everr since the inn of the giggling d onkey incident :((

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Oh shit I forgot about that......  
Yeah we probably shouldn't gather at Jimmy's house anymore

 **Stan Marsh  
** new kid really did a number on his house didn't they lmao

 **Craig Tucker  
** lmao yeah it was hilarious  
morning idiots

 **Clyde Donovan  
** CRAIG  
do you and tweek wanna join the gaming party uwu

 **Craig Tucker  
** i can ask him ig

 **Clyde Donovan  
** that's not a no so i'll take it 🥳🥳  
now where are the other two.............

 **Eric Cartman  
** I've just been ignoring you all

 **Clyde Donovan  
** ERIC  
do you wanna come too???

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Please say no

 **Eric Cartman  
** fuck you Kyle  
I'll go if it means I don't have to be home when Clyde's dad is here

 **Clyde Donovan  
** :)!!!!!!!!!  
now where's ken??

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** He's working rn  
But he should be out at like 2pm  
If he isn't working next weekend he'll probably say yes

 **Clyde Donovan  
** hell YES  
who else should we invite?

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** How ab out butte rs?

 **Token Black  
** What about the new kid?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** do butters and the new kid have switches?  
like they should still come anyway but idk if they play

 **Token Black  
** I'm actually not too sure...

 **Jimmy Valmer  
** Kennyy is usually t he one who hangs out with those two so maybee we can ask him to just ask them both?

 **Clyde Donovan  
** that sounds good!!  
whenever he gets online then

 **Kenny McCormick  
** sup i'm on break

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** Speak of the devil  
Kenny, you mind asking Butters and the new kid?

 **Kenny McCormick  
** yeah sure thing  
i'm so ready to wreck all your asses :)

 **Clyde Donovan  
** i  
i don't like that message with that smile

 **Token Black  
** Yeah I'm not a fan of that either.....

 **Kenny McCormick  
** oh come on guys  
don't be afraid of my love 🥺

 **Kyle Broflovski  
** If that's what you wanna call it, Kenny........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly most of the time when I write this, it's just a bunch of nonsense that somehow comes together. I hope you guys enjoy my bs lmao plus I like throwing in my headcanons :)
> 
> I think next chapter I'll start bringing in the girls? 👀 my friend has a New Kid who I'll be mentioning here and there and I can bring them in (probably just mentioning by name and in DMs) if anybody wants more? I've also got an oc I can mention if that's something anyone wants... 👉👈
> 
> If you have any ideas or suggestions, I'm happy to listen!

**Author's Note:**

> I really just wrote this because my friend and I dove back into South Park and I LOVE chat fics so........... if people actually like this, maybe throw me a kudos or comment and I can try to write more 🥺


End file.
